You've lost that loving feeling...

I refer to my previous post in which I mentioned boytoy and bitchboy.

Boytoy boyfriend is no longer boytoy boyfriend as the battle of heart vs. head came to a close. After a few dates with boytoy boyfriend it was clear that the aforementioned spark did not exist and refused to be ignited. We have therefore decided (amicably) to go our separate way but think of the past month (non consumated i might add!) as a life experience that will only enrich our lives and elevate our relationship to that of bestest friends ever.

Phew.

I was worried that if I broke it off with him, he'd be completely devastated (who can blame him?) and hate me forever, seems like I should have just been honest from the start. After a few dates it was obvious that I will never feel "that" for him. When I sat him down for "the chat" he looked hopeful but like he knew it was coming and looked somewhat defeated. He took it well but wants some "time to digest" which of course I will grant him, but it's cool. I'll just wait for him to come back.

It's a shame as he's a great great guy and any girl would be lucky to have him.

Bitchboy did mention (he's become somewhat of a confidante in the whole boytoy crisis) that he doesn't understand how girls minds work in that there's the perfect guy, hot looks, great personality, well off and just a generally fab bloke but I don't fancy him...what the hell? lol I retorted with "girls aren't ruled by cocks and rely on good ol' chemistry to govern their feelings" and to be fair, I don't think I could have said any better.

I just can't help that I'm a fussy ol' mare.

In terms of bitchboy... well I've given up on that fight. To be honest, I really don't want to know anymore as I think our working relationship is great and I don't want to ruin that in the meantime. I'm quite content with the way things are, of course there is always room for improvement but for the moment, if it ain't broke - why fix it?

Sexy! No No No!

Those that know me, know that I'm a lazy bugger and that anything concerning any amount of effort results in my not doing it, so imagine my surprise when I willingly (yes, WILLINGLY) went for a run (I know...doesn't sound right does it?) ok, ok so when I say run, I really meant walk really fast with the running motion, stop every 5/10 minutes when the body and lungs shut down momentarily and go home on the bus haha (hey, it's an uphill run home - that shit is advanced jogging and I'm still on beginner level!)

You see, this is all on my 5 year plan where the main aims are as follows:

1. To lose weight (ooh pudge be gone!)
   
2. To be healthy (moderate drinking and no smoking)
   
3. To be sexy(!)
4. To run a marathon (lmao)
5. To get married and start practising on breeding my army.
   

Obviously the last one is subject to terms and conditions and more than likely be struck from my objectives in the 2.5yr mark... but I hope not as somehow I got myself a boyfriend. Somehow. I'm still a little confused as to what happened but I woke up on Monday morning with a new boy toy (not literally as I kicked him out at 11pm Sunday.)

So last week, I had a somewhat amicable disagreement with my...let's say... "buddy" and we both agreed to go our separate ways. I phoned boytoy up to rant and he just said "shhh, I'll be there in a couple of hours". True to his words, in 122 minutes there was knock on my door and lo' behold was boytoy armed with a picnic hamper, wine and a bunch of flowers. Now boytoy and I have known each other for a while and my feelings for him (after the initial "omg! He's a bit fit innit") have been purely platonic, he's almost brotherly with the odd drunken snog. We can spend a whole week together tied at the hip and still be friends and laughing at the end of it... which is what my dillemma is about now; there is no "spark" with boytoy. None. Nada. Zilch. I admit I only agreed to being his girlfriend as there was wine flowing and it seemed a good idea at the time but thinking about it now - I'm a little apprehensive.

Whilst it may have been one of the most romantic nights of my life in terms of the whole wooing process and words spoken and whilst I can't think of a single reason why I should nip this in the bud, my heart is saying "NO! NO! NO!" HH says I should give it a chance, RS says giving it a chance could ruin our friendship. Hm. Tough.

Add bitchboy to the mix and it's just a cornucopia of crap. Bitchboy & I have that spark.... and it's getting awkward now as we're both trying to keep it on a platonic level. I have noticed though that while he talks a lot, he doesn't really talk much about himself.

Hm, I need to swap boytoy boyfriend for bitchboy boyfriend.