Nasal whingings & Carrot Bingeing.

Again, I've been uber negligent in updating this bastard blog. But hey - I've been busy with life and stuff you know?

Am feeling slightly discombobulated today. Worries of past actions and anxiety of future developments are enough to send one into a quarter life crisis! Actually, I lie, its not been that bad lately. Its been pretty chilled. As you know (or not) I've been living back at the parental home in Chavs-ville (why oh why did I subject myself to that torture?!) and its been difficult to get settled due to maternal hasslings, greed and her eternal laziness. But thats been somewhat resolved in her move to Eastbourne (YAY!) and home life has been smooth sailing since (apart from her monthly 5 day visits which really does get on my tits)

Umm..whats been happening since the last entry... umm. My aunt visited from Hong Kong. Everytime she comes over, this whole other person resides in my body like a parasite! I find myself talking in clipped tones, using proper grammar and limiting gesticulation to the odd hand wave. Its like I've turned into an even more arrogant bitch with delusions of grandeur looking down the common masses trying to emulate my aunt. The entire week was spent tailing her around various shopping complexes and standing by fitting rooms appropriately cooing 'oooh that looks wonderful' and 'of course it doesnt make your bum look big, in fact the A line of skirt skims over your hips thus accentuating your tiny waist line and smooth calves'Gok Wan would've been proud.

I love shopping to a certain extent but more than 3 hours in the same shop is just stupid and a waste of time. I like to go in, pick out stuff, pay and go home. 4 hours in an department store selling only household goods is not a fun way to spend a day. But I've now found the best way for her to put down whatever product she's picked up and move on to the next shop

"Do you really need it? Will you use it? Is it worth it?"

To which she'll sigh and say 'I suppose you're right' and return the product to shelf. I found that tactic reduced my shop waiting time by 46% and my feet are eternally grateful.

So yeah, family rant over. Phew.

Anyway. Fit married man is no longer part of my little circle due to a moral epiphany I had (I know, morals! What the hell?) I gave him the bullshit of 'It's not you, it's me' and 'we're from different circles' tripe. Which he graciously acknowledged but vowed we should remain friends - except when he's drunk and he sends me suggestive messages which are promptly moved to the deleted folder.

I'm now seeing Jimbob again (you know, lipgloss boy? I might just start calling him lipgloss boy.) Except he's added pigtails to the mix. Which is a bit odd.

Its all a bit odd, its like my body and brain are at war with each other - body says 'omg you havent had a fuck since 23 May' and my brains like 'you don't need a fuck - you're a strong independent woman, invest in a Rabbit'. Whats a girl to do? All the feminist bullshit is derogatory.

I might rape lipgloss boy tonight - perhaps tonight mind and body will be simultaneous in their decision.