Sometimes, Life just gets in the way.

It's not that I purposely forget, far from it, but sometimes it's just easier to sit down and do fuck all after a hard days' work.

So what has happened since? It was my birthday on the 28th and I have to admit it was one of the nicest birthdays I've had for a long time, I had a nice mixture of relaxing and boozing (ok, so maybe a lot of boozing.)

So what's happened in the past 3 months you say. Well. A fucking lot I can tell ya that.

1) I've moved to London. Yes kids, I'm now a Londoner once again! Albeit it's south of the river (I live in the middle of west Dulwich and Streatham Hill) and it's a fabulous house - I'll post photo's of it at some point - 4 bedrooms, front parking, back garden.. ahh. I almost feel like a grown up. My room is mahussive. It's by far the biggest room I have occupied and due to my hoarding (NOT whoring) nature it seems that it's not big enough for my clothes and I to be in the same room! Luckily enough the small box room is available and after much goading to my housemate, she agreed to let me turn into a walk-in wardrobe/dressing room :-) Good times. The house is nowhere near completion to the visions of residential splendour I've had since we moved in (lack of funds) but it seems I may have to move fast as my housemate is slowly taking over the house! Seriously, I've never seen anyone with so much random stuff!

Ok, ok _ I'm an advocate for random stuff and gadgets but at least my stuff is quality tat... hmm. enough of bitchiness, she's lovely. But needs to start downsizing her kitchen utensil/coffee machine/cups/random lakeland plastic shite/various kitchen appliance collections as the kitchen is chokka full of crap. With not enough space to put the bottles of vodka!

2) I'm pretty much sober these days. 6 weeks of hardly any drinking.... bloody hell that's a feat and a half considering how much I like the odd tipple.

3) Beardy guy and I...well...it's weird. Oh yeah you dont know about Beardy guy? And I aint gonna tell you.

4) Ginger Ninja and I...well... that's weird too and an on-going saga. Remind me to tell you about it at some point.

5) T and I... well... now a closed book. Don't wanna think about it but by God he's still hot.

6) Lipgloss boy and I...well...he's trying to see me but a mouthful of lipgloss and a sore throat in the morning is sooo not what i want.

7) New Developments? I may just be in "like" with my bitch. Yes. my bitch. Who, incidentally is a boy. Not saying he's perfect but he's lovely and i get on with him like anything. It may be just a proximity thing but its difficult. difficult why? Well, I don't particularly want to "shit where one sleeps". And it's abusing the power isn't it? To top it off, it'll be too much exposure - work together and spend time together out of work? There'll be no time forindividuality.

lol I keep forgetting, I don't even know if he likes me like that haha. But hey it seems likely as we spend all day and lunch together... hmm. L says it's only a matter of time as we've already planned our wedding for if we're not with anyone when we're 30...

Anyways, enough about that.

Life has gotten in the way of blogging. So whilst I'll update every once in a while; I'm going to concentrate on life living in the big smoke :-)

You could say that I'm a pretty content little bunny right now but times, they are a'changing.

The Birthday Month

This month has been bizarre. From attempting al-fresco fucking in the snow to testing the floating capabilities of contents of a lady's handbag... it's been a good 'un. Oh and the 28th was also my birthday so I'm now the ripe old age of 24 - woo!

To be honest, I cant remember most of February due to the sheer amount of alcohol I've consumed.

But I do remember that somehow I've managed to lock myself into a "relationship" with a dude with OCD (whilst I'm not being judgmental...it is bloody difficult to sit there for 10 minutes and watch him rearrange his rice that he dropped on the table from his chinese into a perfect square...only for me to tell him that it's not a perfect square (I like things perpendicular) and he has to do it all again) oh and he has love-handles that are bigger than mine ...and MOOBS. Gosh, I've gone all shallow but after T and the ninja...he just doesnt fit the calibre. Why am I with him? well technically I'm not cos what happens when you're drunk never really happened....but unfortunately i do remember. ugh.

Talking about T and ninja, both have been back in contact lately, weird times. It's a shame I still fancy T. But I did realise the other day that I am actually in love with the ninja. lol. Never saw that coming.

So anyway, yeah - there's a new boy at work (and I must stress BOY, he's only a bubba) but he's HOT....gonna go bed and dream about him now... although saying that, we and dorry think he may be a packer of the fudge variety...

Christmas pericombobulation!

What a load of nonsense.

This is really the time of mindfucked-ness!

List of things to do before the end of 2008:

1. Delete T from phone/msn/life as he's the perpetrator of all things heartbroken-ness
2. Stop seeing Ginger Ninja
   
3. Stop seeing Lipgloss boy
4. Stop being a magnet for useless boys
5. Dont even think about going for a tumble with Naughty P (I dont care if he is uber hot, uber rich and uber huuuuge - he's still married so auto NO)
6. Read Michael Heppels book on "How to be BRILLIANT"
7. Stop feeling sorry myself!

Ugh.

bewilderness.

Yes, I realise "bewilderness" is not a proper word but it sums up what my head feels like today. Bewildered and empty like the wilderness.

Cancelled on Lipgloss boy last night following a text message that said "will you wear your hair in pigtails so I can grab and wear lots of lipgloss? xx" Umm, no I will not - my perfectly coiffed hair will not be subject to any grabbing thank you very much. I knew he was a bit 'off' but seriously? Bringing my hair into it is so not cool. Lipgloss I can manage and tolerate but between whimpers of 'go on put some more on' and 'i've bought you this flavour to try on' - methinks its getting a bit weird.

Oh well there goes Lipgloss boy again. Its such a shame cos he's ever so hot.

Right lets concentrate on T. Ohh yeah. Now he's HOT.

Doowops & Cherry pops

Last night.... lets just say Cherry lipgloss.

Its amazing what one (or two) can do in a couple of hours.

Nasal whingings & Carrot Bingeing.

Again, I've been uber negligent in updating this bastard blog. But hey - I've been busy with life and stuff you know?

Am feeling slightly discombobulated today. Worries of past actions and anxiety of future developments are enough to send one into a quarter life crisis! Actually, I lie, its not been that bad lately. Its been pretty chilled. As you know (or not) I've been living back at the parental home in Chavs-ville (why oh why did I subject myself to that torture?!) and its been difficult to get settled due to maternal hasslings, greed and her eternal laziness. But thats been somewhat resolved in her move to Eastbourne (YAY!) and home life has been smooth sailing since (apart from her monthly 5 day visits which really does get on my tits)

Umm..whats been happening since the last entry... umm. My aunt visited from Hong Kong. Everytime she comes over, this whole other person resides in my body like a parasite! I find myself talking in clipped tones, using proper grammar and limiting gesticulation to the odd hand wave. Its like I've turned into an even more arrogant bitch with delusions of grandeur looking down the common masses trying to emulate my aunt. The entire week was spent tailing her around various shopping complexes and standing by fitting rooms appropriately cooing 'oooh that looks wonderful' and 'of course it doesnt make your bum look big, in fact the A line of skirt skims over your hips thus accentuating your tiny waist line and smooth calves'Gok Wan would've been proud.

I love shopping to a certain extent but more than 3 hours in the same shop is just stupid and a waste of time. I like to go in, pick out stuff, pay and go home. 4 hours in an department store selling only household goods is not a fun way to spend a day. But I've now found the best way for her to put down whatever product she's picked up and move on to the next shop

"Do you really need it? Will you use it? Is it worth it?"

To which she'll sigh and say 'I suppose you're right' and return the product to shelf. I found that tactic reduced my shop waiting time by 46% and my feet are eternally grateful.

So yeah, family rant over. Phew.

Anyway. Fit married man is no longer part of my little circle due to a moral epiphany I had (I know, morals! What the hell?) I gave him the bullshit of 'It's not you, it's me' and 'we're from different circles' tripe. Which he graciously acknowledged but vowed we should remain friends - except when he's drunk and he sends me suggestive messages which are promptly moved to the deleted folder.

I'm now seeing Jimbob again (you know, lipgloss boy? I might just start calling him lipgloss boy.) Except he's added pigtails to the mix. Which is a bit odd.

Its all a bit odd, its like my body and brain are at war with each other - body says 'omg you havent had a fuck since 23 May' and my brains like 'you don't need a fuck - you're a strong independent woman, invest in a Rabbit'. Whats a girl to do? All the feminist bullshit is derogatory.

I might rape lipgloss boy tonight - perhaps tonight mind and body will be simultaneous in their decision.

The first entry...

This is a strange time for me. I've had blogs in the past where I just ramble on nonsensically but this (as a promise to myself) will be a blog that makes a little bit of sense.

So anyway. I'm just going to throw you straight at the deep end of my life at the moment; I've taken it as a task to immerse myself into the world of dating - I got fed up of the guys that I usually go for so I thought; fuck it. Lets go away from the norm and do something "wild and kerrraaazy"

So yeah. I met this guy, lets call him J to protect his privacy. J seemed really up himself and my initial thoughts were 'What a c*nt' but the little was persistent, I give him that. Against my better judgement I met up with him for a drink. 5 pints and 6 cigarettes later I was hammered, missed my last train home and went back to J's flat.

Not the best idea I've had.

But hey it seemed to work because J and I saw each other for a couple months but it eventually fizzled out. We had nothing in common and his ongoing love affair with his Kona (a bike) was getting between us lol. He was a strange one. But boy did he fuck well. It ended on a sunny afternoon when I hung up on him for being an inconsiderate muppet 20 mins after leaving his flat subsequent to probably one of the best shagfests I have ever experienced.

Date #2 - We'll call this one A1. Jewish, nice guy, perfect in every way. Except when he spoke,... petty as it may seem, you havent heard this one talk. Its like.. a cross between a helium induced voice and a retarded American child from maybe Utah. Oh he was Canadian. Nothing wrong with Canadians at all. We met up at his place where he cooked me dinner. If he wasnt leaving (sorry, now left) then I would definitely have made something longterm. However as he was returning to the mother land in May (now gone) then there was no point. Its a shame though because he was really nice. Clean and big too.

Date #3 - We'll call this one Jimbob, nice lad from the sticks seemed normal at first but turned out to have a rather unhealthy obsession with lipgloss...